Taking a Look Under the Hood - Step one: Identify the Stressor
/
In my last post I discussed the difference between Eustress and Distress. Eustress is that bit of adrenaline that kicks in and gives us the boost and motivation to tackle challenges when we feel that we have the skills and resources to be successful. Distress happens when we’re faced with a challenge and don’t believe we have what it takes to resolve it or cope with it. The higher the stakes of the challenge, the more unstable and dangerous the situation feels. The fear of failing to conquer those high-stakes challenges can be overwhelming and even debilitating.
Lately we’ve been collectively feeling distress due to several challenges we feel are out of our control. The specific challenges we are facing, and to what extent they’re causing us distress, differs from person to person. We have different resources, supports, perspectives and experiences. So a one-size-fits-all solution to working through it isn’t going to be effective. I can’t just say go and meditate and things will be better. The first step is to do some self reflection to find out what areas feel the most overwhelming and distressing, then work on addressing those areas specifically (that can include meditation, but that step comes later).
Sometimes we’re aware of the exact stressor we’re facing and why we don’t feel prepared for it; other times we just have a general mental and physical feeling of “something is wrong and I don’t know where to start”. I’ll admit the latter was my initial experience at the start of COVID. I spent a couple of weeks numbly going through day-to-day tasks, binging Netflix, constantly feeling tired and hungry, and generally listless. My usual energy and motivation was nowhere to be found, and I realized I was reacting to my distress by figuratively curling up in the fetal position to protect myself. I didn’t have the adrenaline boost to face my challenges, because in the back of my mind I was thinking too many big factors were out of my control to bother.
When I finally sat down to evaluate what the specific stressors that contributed to my distress were, I was able to find strategies to work on building the resources I’ll need to cope, and even thrive. And identifying my early warning signs of distress has been helpful in preventing a spiral into that initial post-COVID state.
This week I’ve provided 3 self-assessment tools to help you start identifying the areas of your life that are potentially sources of, or vulnerabilities to, stress. These tools are just meant to provide you with an inventory of things to keep an eye on and I encourage you not to make judgments about what things are highlighted. There is no right or wrong, good or bad - it is a snapshot of where you are now (3.5 months into a pandemic...let that sink in...), and should just be considered a starting point for moving forward.
Sometimes we don’t know how to identify our stress signals because we’re so used to living with them. Knowing how our bodies are responding to psychological stress can be the first step. Take a moment to identify your early warning symptoms with Tool #1.
Tool #2 is a self-assessment was developed by psychologists Lyle H. Miller and Alma Dell Smith at the Boston University Medical Center. It is designed to help identify ways we may be vulnerable to stress, and to what degree. This might also give you a bit of a road map as to what you might look at working on.
The feeling of stability in our lives relies on believing our supports and resources, internally and externally, are sufficient to tackle arising challenges. I’m sure you’ve heard of “living a balanced life”, and you may have done a “life wheel” before. With Tool #3, I encourage you to revisit that in this assessment tool. The areas we once felt confident and secure in may have changed, and it’s important to reevaluate areas that are causing your life-wheel to feel like a bumpy ride. Once you complete your personal Life Wheel you will be able to identify the areas you feel less satisfied with, and then be able to dig deeper into the specific concerns contributing to your feelings of stress and distress.
In the coming weeks we’ll look at steps 2. Changing the stressor, and 3. Changing your response to the stressor, which you’ll be able to apply to the areas you’ve identified. In the meantime be good to yourself!
Ashley Groves, BSW (she/her)
Ashley is an Event Coordinator at Creative Twist Inc. Her unique blend of skills comes from over a decade in theatre production, management and design, and as a former social worker.
